


put all your faults to bed

by Pomfry



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Inspired by Music, Kuro is depressed and Mahiru makes it better, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash, and when Mahiru has those bad days Kuro makes it better too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomfry/pseuds/Pomfry
Summary: Kuro has been alone for years and years. For centuries, really. Sometimes he walks the apartment and simply sits on the counter, half lidded eyes watching Mahiru clean and cook.Mahiru makes as much noise he possibly can without being disruptive to remind Kuro that he’s here, that he’s not going anywhere. He yells and shakes him and calls him lazy, but Kuro leans into the contact.(We all have bad days. Kuro just has more of them than most.)





	put all your faults to bed

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to King by Lauren Aquilina nonstop and it inspired this. Listen, I am complete trash for these two. Their relationship is so pure and caring?? I love them.

After Mahiru’s mom died, he - well, his world ended. His home was taken away and the person who woke him up with a smile every day was gone. He was only six, he didn’t know what to do. He was lost, floundering in the darkness she left behind, and even though his uncle took him in, he still was like that. It was like his entire life had lost meaning, like his reason for behind happy was just - gone.

He was falling into a hole, a void, and nothing could have stopped him. He clawed his way out once he had fallen, clung onto the walls and pulled himself up, until he was standing on the edge and steady enough to think that, maybe, there was a reason he was here.

It took him a couple years to entirely pull himself out. It took him even longer to take steps away from it.

So now, years later and only a few strides away from that never ending black, he sees the signs in Kuro.

Kuro is so, so close to shattering, to not being able to dig his nails into the walls and pull himself. He didn’t have the support Mahiru had at the most critical stage, when he was just tipping over. And now he’s falling, falling, falling, never stopping, and he’s long since given up and closed up, waiting for it to end.

But it will  _ never end.  _ Mahiru has bad days, days when he thinks that living isn’t worth it, not anymore, but Kuro 

Kuro has been waiting for hundreds of years for it to end. He has bad days all the time, from the time he wakes up to the time he closes his eyes for the night, and Mahiru doesn’t know how to help him beyond simply being there and reminding him that there is something to live for. That there is a reason to get up in the morning.

So he does. He becomes that reason.

 

\--

 

Kuro has been alone for years and years. For centuries, really. Sometimes he walks the apartment and simply sits on the counter, half lidded eyes watching Mahiru clean and cook.

Mahiru makes as much noise he possibly can without being disruptive to remind Kuro that he’s here, that he’s not going anywhere. He yells and shakes him and calls him lazy, but Kuro leans into the contact. At night, when Mahiru is tired and laying in bed, Kuro crawls in next to him, resting his head on Mahiru’s chest. It took Mahiru a few minutes the first time to figure out what he was doing.

He was hearing Mahiru’s heartbeat, breathing in time to it.

And since then, Mahiru only smiles and snuggles closer, resting a hand on Kuro’s back as he falls asleep. He starts making the quiet moments, too. He sits against Kuro as they play games, as Kuro watches some soap opera and Mahiru does homework. He starts offering Kuro some of the food he’s making, silently asking him to taste test. He starts kissing Kuro’s forehead before he leaves to go to the store, which is within the space limit.

Eventually, Kuro stops spending so much time in cat form. Eventually, he hangs off of Mahiru’s shoulders and stays there, not complaining, not saying anything. He stays there, chin on Mahiru’s shoulder as he watches him do whatever he’s doing. Eventually, he starts to open up - hesitantly, slowly, like a timid animal that’s been beat one to many times for them to truly trust.

Mahiru keeps on doing what he’s doing. He lets Kuro reach out first, then reaches back, gently pulling him out of the hole. Little by little, Kuro starts to see the light, and it’s wonderful.

Kuro starts making food himself - not just ramen either. He makes exotic foods, foods long since lost to time, and it’s with a quiet type of flair. Mahiru always eats it, even the ones he doesn’t like, just to see the small smile on Kuro’s face as he leans on the table, simply gazing as Mahiru eats the food he made.

It’s a slow process, one with many stops and complications, but Mahiru is steady in his stability and Kuro finds that comforting.

Mahiru may like simple things, but this is anything but simple and completely worth it.

 

\--

 

It’s a bad day, Mahiru knows it the moment he wakes up. His emotions, usually so fiery, are dulled. His limbs feel like they’re made of lead, and he really only just wants to sleep. Kuro is still sleeping next to him, curled into a ball and attached to his chest, and Mahiru smiles, exhausted.

Mahiru can usually get up on his bad days. He can usually go to school, pay attention, if a bit more subdued than usual.

This isn’t a normal bad day. This is one of the really bad days, when Mahiru just wants the world to  _ stop. _

He bites his lip, burying his nose in Kuro’s hair. Surely, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss today, he thinks, a bit desperately. Surely, surely, he could stay home today.

Surely, surely.

It doesn’t work out. He has a test today, a meeting, and he can’t afford to miss today, no matter how much he wants to.

He sits up, wishing, pleading with anything that would listen, that he doesn’t have to. He’s slipped back, he’s at the edge of his void, and he's about to tip over, head over heels, and -

Kuro makes a noise of discontent when he moves, shuffling over to the warm space he leaves behind when he gets out of bed. The blinds and curtains are closed - a habit Mahiru doesn’t think he will ever break - so it’s dark when he makes his way over to the bathroom.

“Come on, Kuro,” he says, and he sounds dead, sounds like a corpse, but he can’t bring himself to care. Everything is behind a plane of fogged glass. “I have a meeting today.”

Kuro is up in an instant, putting his hands on Mahiru’s cheeks. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly, urgently, and Mahiru smiles. It feels like he’s pushing something up that weighs a million tons. “Mahiru?”

“I’m fine,” Mahiru tells him, and the lie tastes like ash on his tongue. He is anything but fine. “Just tired.”

On his bad days, Mahiru doesn’t like to eat. On his bad days, Mahiru is drained even though he doesn’t do anything. On his really bad days, he’s ready to fall. 

Kuro doesn’t look convinced, but he does back off, leaving him to wash his face as he watches from the toilet seat, arms crossed. “You’re so troublesome,” Kuro tells him, something fond in the words, and Mahiru laughs a little at that. He’s the definition of troublesome for people like Kuro. He’s an extrovert, always ready to make friends, and he doesn’t know when to stop

He feels like crying. He feels like going to sleep and not waking up. He wishes the daze would go away.

Kuro is on his feet again. His laughed sounded too strained, and Mahiru pats his face dry, expression blank.

_ Stupid,  _ he thinks, berating himself.  _ Stupid, stupid, you’re not supposed to worry others - _

“Are you sure you should go to school today?” Kuro says tentatively, looking kind of overwhelmed. 

Mahiru spits out his toothpaste, smiling at him. It’s more of a grimace than he would like it to be, and when Kuro’s hand start to wave, unsure, he heads to the kitchen. He needs to make breakfast since he made lunch last night. If he ignores the concern Kuro shows, it doesn’t exist, he rationalizes, and picks at his hair. It’s too short, he knows.

He - doesn’t mind it on his good days. He likes it, on his good days. But, now -

Now he wants his hair to be longer.

“Fish?” he calls over his shoulder.

Kuro is at his side in an instant, gently pulling the knife out of his hands. “Why don’t you go get changed?” he offers, and it’s a soft thing, like Mahiru when he’s trying to get a scared animal to come near him so he can take it to the vet. But it is comforting, is making him calm down, and he rests his head on Kuro’s shoulder. Kuro is taller than he is, but he’s always slouching. “Go on, go get changed.” Kuro gives him a small push towards the room.

Mahiru groans, stumbling his way to his room. He won’t eat a lot, unfortunately, but his appetite just - completely disappears. Poof. Gone. He reaches his dresser, eyes half closed, and pulls out his uniform on automatic. He stares at his shirt for a while, mind moving sluggishly, and he eventually puts it on after…

Wait, how long had he been staring?

Kuro knocks on the doorframe, looking at him with furrowed brows. “Are you okay?"

Mahiru moves his gaze to him, grip loosening on his shirt. It falls to the floor and he blinks down at it, ready to fall asleep. Kuro pads over to it, picking it up and setting it down on the bed, putting his palm on Mahiru’s forehead.

Irritation flares, as small as it is, and Mahiru knocks his hand away. “I’m not sick,” he says, picking up the shirt and buttoning it up with clumsy fingers. Kuro bats his fingers from the buttons and steadily buttons it up for him. Mahiru watches him, anger fading back into the apathy. “Thank you,” he mumbles, and Kuro pats his head, grabbing his wrist and leading him back into the kitchen.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and pulls a chair out for him, grabbing a plate and setting it in front of him. “Leave this stuff to me.”

Mahiru gives him a grateful smile, taking a small bite. It tastes amazing, as all of what Kuro cooks usually does, and he wants to eat it all. He takes another bite, humming happily as Kuro takes a seat across from him. He crosses his arms on the table, resting his chin on his foreheads, and his eyes track how much he eats. When Mahiru’s stomach decides it doesn’t want anymore and Mahiru pushes the plate away, Kuro pushes it back.

“Please eat more,” he says, and his eyes are begging him to eat more. And so Mahiru, despite his stomach’s protests, eats some more. Eventually, he eats enough to satisfy Kuro, who seeps the plate away and heads back to the kitchen, rinsing the plate and putting it into the dishwasher. Mahiru drops his forehead on the table, stomach churning. He really shouldn’t have eaten that much - he feels like he’s going to throw up.

Kuro back at his side in a moment, picking him up and walking into the bedroom, dressing him. Mahiru observes him sleepily, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m tired,” he says, and Kuro ducks his head to hide his expression.

“I know,” he replies, soft, and picks him up again, this time heading out the front door. “I know.”

"What about the sunlight?” Mahiru asks, and Kuro locks the door behind him. 

“It’s raining. I’ll be fine. I grabbed the umbrella,” he says, and shakes it to grab Mahiru’s attention.

“Oh,” he says in surprise. “You did. Good.”

Kuro rubs his hand through Mahiru’s hair, making him hum and lean against his shoulder. “I’m taking you to school and keeping an eye on you for the rest of the day. You’re not going to the meeting. You’re coming straight home.”

“But that meeting is  _ important,”  _ Mahiru insists, and Kuro steps out of the elevator, opening the umbrella and holding it above their heads. “It’s about the summer festival -”

“You’re not going,” Kuro interrupts sternly, and Mahiru goes silent. Kuro is never stern. Mahiru coming home must be really important to him, for some reason.

Before Kuro, on the really bad says, Mahiru always got to school and always did his work. He thinks that he likes Kuro’s method better. It’s nice to be taken care of instead of being the one hovering.

“Okay,” he says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He’s protected from the rain with the umbrella, and he has a sneaking suspicion that Kuro would give him his jacket if they hadn’t had the umbrella. “I’ll come come right after.”

He feels, rather than sees, Kuro’s relieved slump at that. “Thanks,” he says, and Mahiru hums, hearing the pounding of the rain against the umbrella.

“It’s important to you,” he says, and it sounds silly, so simple, but Mahiru likes simple. Simple is what saved form his own small piece of ceaseless space, because when things got too complicated he would turn to the simple things and be able to relax.

Mahiru has never liked complicated things, regardless. Even before the accident, he hated complicated things. His mom had laughed, told him that he got that from his uncle, and Mahiru had stuck his tongue out at her in response.

...He misses her. He misses her so much that it feels like he’s going to keel over, gasping from the way the loss twists in his chest, like a bullet wound. He scrunches up his eyes and turns his head so his face is hidden in Kuros jacket. He doesn’t want to think of her.

“Hey, is that Mahiru?”

“Who is that guy?”

Whispers, unwelcome noise, and a sound rumbles form Kuro’s chest as he says, “We’re here.” Mahiru opens his eyes, looking up at Kuro’s face. He’s on the defensive, ready to leap away at any moment, and Mahiru blinks, twisting to look at his fellow students. They’re all staring and pointing, and Mahiru should get up, should head to class, but -

But he’s so, so tired. He twists back, away from them and their stares. “Okay,” he says, voice muffled by the fabric of the jacket, and doesn’t say anything else. Kuro seems to understand what he means, and heads to the classroom, silent. Everyone stops talking when they enter the classroom, and when Kuro sets him down in his chair and sits on his desk, they erupt into chatter, crowding around them. Kuro sighs, ignoring the questions and brushing Mahiru’s hair away from his forehead.

“You’ll be okay?” he asks lowly, and Mahiru smiles thinly at him, leaning into the contact.

“Yeah,” he says, although he really doesn’t feel like it. Kuro frowns but lets it go, leaving out the door. Mahiru knows that he’ll be back in a second, strutting through the classroom on his little cat paws like he owns the place. Mahiru crosses his arms and lets his chin drop onto his chest, resolutely disregarding their questions.

Ryusei and Koyuki fight through the crowd, halting at his desk and gaping at him. “Mahiru,” they start at the same time, then stopping, facing each other. Ryusei nods and Koyuki starts again.

“Mahiru, you look  _ horrible.  _ Are you okay?”

Mahiru nods, not trusting his voice to be small. Truth is, he feels worse without Kuro here. He loves his friends, adores them with everything he has, but Kuro knows what it’s like. They….don’t.

Ryusei sighs heavily, taking over. “Mahiru, should I be worried? That guy looked like an adult. If he’s taking care of you or  _ something like that,  _ tell me so I can tell my dad. He’s a police officer, you know.”

Mahiru does know that. Ryusei’s dad had offered to take him in if someone else didn’t. But - Kuro isn’t like that. He cares for Mahiru too much to do something like that. Besides, they’re not emotionally ready for it. Maybe, one day, but...not right now.

“He’s not like that,” Mahiru says, and it’s fierce. He knows Kuro, even if he doesn’t know his past, and Kuro is not like the predators that roam the streets. In fact, Mahiru would bet that he would maim those who tried to do anything like that to Mahiru.

Ryusei looks unconvinced, opens his mouth to say more, and the scratching of little claws reach their ears. One of the girls goes to open the door and Kuro saunters in, making his way towards Mahiru, meowing to be picked up. Mahiru smiles at him, reaching down to do just that, setting him on the desk. “Hey,” he says softly, and Kuro mewls at him, licking his nose. The girls let out a slightly breathy  _ aww,  _ and Koyuki giggles at the sight.

Ryusei’s cheeks turn a light pink at Koyuki’s laugh, and Mahiru grins at that. Ryuse has had a crush on Koyuki for years - he’s certainly ranted to Mahiru about him enough - but Koyuki is viciously oblivious. Unless Ryusei comes right out and says it, Koyuki won’t notice. It’s a cycle that won’t ever end, much to Mahiru’s bemusement

“Well,” Ryusei bustles, putting a hand on Mahiru’s desk, “just - tell me if he does something you don't like.”

Mahiru very much doubts that Kuro will do something that truly will bother him, but he nods anyway. “I promise,” he says. And if Kuro  _ does  _ do something like that, then they will talk it out. Somehow, Mahiru doesn’t think that Ryusei means about bad habits.

Relief flickers across Ryusei’s face and Koyuki clasps his hands together. “Thank you,” he says, his shoulders slumping, and Mahiru holds out his pinky. They both take it, and Koyuki start swinging them. Ryusei laughs and Mahiru cracks a smile. “Koyuki, you’re an idiot.”

“An idiot that you love!" Koyuki says cheerfully, and Ryusei’s smile softens.

“That we do,” Mahiru says. “And you better go to back to your seats - the teacher is here.”

They both scramble back to their seats, with Mahiru silently laughing at them. Kuro purrs in his lap, loud and happy, and Mahiru rubs that special spot between his ears.

Today doesn’t seem like such a bad day, he thinks, and leans down to kiss Kuro on his forehead.

And if Kuro makes him feel safe, makes him feel loved and that bubble of warmth rise in his stomach, then that’s his business.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved and brighten up my day and are saved in my Gmail.
> 
> Also! Here's my [Tumblr.](http://nikescaret.tumblr.com) Come visit and chat with me if you want!


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